Welcome to a brand new Bakersfield Sound Underground blog storybook adventure, where you, the blog visitor, get to add to every episode.  You can make it turn out bad, good, neutral, or any old way you'd like the story to turn out.  This series is called Jerry's Trout Pizza.  This is serving, or episode 2.  Whether you're a Buck Owens or a Buzzcocks fan, whether you are a Hank Ray, or an Operation Ivy fan, whether you are a Black Flag fan or a Merle Haggard fan, you'll fan fun hanging out in the imaginary punky-tonk territory known as Jerry's Trout Pizza, where they serve fresh fish on dry, buttery, hard crust as experimental bands, duos and solo artists come in to serve up the best fusion of post-korn-k.c.c.r.o.c.k. (Kern County Country Rock), mixing up the old and new, the borrowed and the blue, just for you.  And without further ado, this is Jerry's Trout Pizza, Serving 2. 


Jerry's Trout Pizza is a honky-tonk, or, rather, "punky-tonk" twilight zone.  Anyone that has met or come in contact with Dr BLT is in danger of finding him/herself there.  Tonight, Homer Joy is in the house, hamming it up with Red Meat, 800lb Gorilla, Bad Brains, and a host of other bands, duos and solo artist of the nu bako and Bakersfield Sound variety.  Wait!  As our second serving of Jerry's Trout Pizza begins, Roy Rotten of the Stetson-Mohawks, a character introduced to this story by one of Dr BLT's brightest students, has just pulled up in a Harley (one he bought at the Bakersfield dealership where a ceremony was once held in Merle Haggard's honor to name his now famous Merle Haggard Drive).  He and the man Dr BLT calls "Darkstar Dan," of Darkstar Records, walked in, struggling with one of those 800 pound amps from the 80s in his hands.  They set it down in the midddle of the stage.  "Where's the Mike?"  Roy looked overheated and eager. 

"The mic and the New Rage Stage are right up there, Roy," Dr. BLT replied, but you're going to have to take a number.  Everybody and their mothers want to jam with Homer Joy tonight.  Penny Marie, Kim McAbee, Theresa Spanke, Hot Rod, Fatt Katt, Meestro, Monty Byrom, The Witchitas, Earth Crisis, Black Flag, 800lb Gorillias, Hank Ray, Dave Alvin and the Guilty Women, Walter Stormont, Red Meat, Brian Benson, Kama Ruby, Conrad...the list goes on and on." 

"Now, hold your horses, or, rather, Homer's horses, or whomever those horses belong to, Dr. BLT, I wasn't taking about that "mic," I was asking about Mike, as in Mike and Amanda, from the radio show, Bakersfield and Beyond." 

"We had to hide them, Roy, too many musicians were here trying to flood them with demos and CDs," Dr. BLT replied.  

After eyeing what appeared to be a demo in Roy's hand, Hank Ray rushed towards him as if to pick an old-fashioned honky-tonk brawl.  "Buck you!  If you're just here to kiss up to them, so they'll play your damn song, then this town, and this punky-tonk club is not big enough for the two of us." 

"Please, no cussing here, and no trouble either,"  said, Jerry, club owner, and member of the house band, Blue Mirror.  "That's why I said 'Buck you and not the alternative,"  Hank said, in his defense.  "I don't care," Jerry added, I don't want any trouble.  We don't take Buck's name in vain either, that in itself could start a collosal brawl, one that would make some of those old fights they used to have at the Blackboard look mild by comparison.  Take it outside if you want to fight."   

The two rising Bakersfield sound stars each took a breath, laughed and shook hands.  "I'm sorry I told you to 'buck off,' I just didn't want anybody taking advantage of the virtual welcome mat that Amanda and Mike have put out for nu bako sound artists." Ray said emphatically.  "I've actually heard your stuff, and I like it, it sounds kind of like some of the stuff Christie Front Drive was doing back in the day." 

"I like your stuff too, Hank Ray, and I'm psyched about the short film projects you've been working on," Roy replied, graciously accepting Ray's olive branch. 

"All is well that ends well," said Penny Marie.   "That's right, added Monty, gleefully, and, on that note, the beer is on me tonight." 

Everybody gathered around.  The place was hopping.  If you took all of the old Bakersield sound hot spots where Merle, Buck, Lefty Frizzel, Lloyd Reading and the rest of them used to play---places like Lucky Spot, the Barrel House, Doc's Club, the Green Door, Club 409, The Blackboard, and High Pockets, and put them all together, nothing could compete with the mood that was now filling up the place like a sweet aroma. 

Red Meat got on the Stage of Rage with Homer Joy and started to tune up their instruments.   The Witchitas waited in the wings, with Meestro, their opening act.  Rockwell stepped up to the jukebox, put in a few quarters and the old tunes he selected set the perfect tone for the evening.  A little Jimmie Rodgers, a little Bob Wills, a little Hank Williams, and, last but not least, a little Dr BLT, in a song that was now airing all across the land (la la land, that is), the kccrocker remake of Michael Jackson's Billie Jean.  Suddenly, Mike and Amanda came out of hiding.  "Hey, who sings that?  We've got to get that one on the air," Mike proclaimed excitedly.  Who is that on backup vocals?  Is that you, Jerry?  And how about those Bakersfield SounDivas on the harmony tracks?  Is that Kim McAbee?  I seem to be hearing a little Theresa Spanke and a little Penny Marie in the mix as well," Amanda's excitement was now palpably growing in intensity.  "Wait, what about that distinct Pat Frase drum track, it really rocks, and what about that guitar lick?"

"Oh, that's just me, Reggie Langendorfer announced, as he entered timidly.  He was visibly haggard, after walking miles in the hot sun.  "Now that we're playing Dr BLT, I want to hear something completely original, how about "It's Hot as Hell in Bakersfield Again"?" 

"The beer's on me, Reggie," Rockwell anounced convivially.   "No, I insist," shouted Monty, "It's on me, they're going to re-release an earlier rock recording of mine in the UK, and so I expect there will be no shortage of cash in my bank account any time soon."

"Well, Monty, if you insist.  Now, here's a mug nearly as big as Dr. BLT's ego," Rockwell added with playful laughter, as he looked towards the good friend he knew would let the quip roll right off his back.  Rockwell held the mug up high, and spilled a little bit of it over the edge. 

"I'll drink to that!" Fatt Katt and Hot Rod added, accidentily in unison.  "And here's to Michael Jackson, minus his personal wierdness," Homer Joy lifted his shot of Jim Beam in the air.  The whole crowd now began to sing along to the newly countrified Billie Jean, "Billy Jean is not my lover, she's just a girl who says that I am the one, but the child is not my son..."

Pirated, unauthorized, unedited mix of Dr BLT's Countrified Billie Jean, featuring Kim McAbee, Reggie Langendorfer, Jerry Rothberg and Pat Fraze:

Dr BLT's Countrified Billie Jean

PS: Stream the next Bakersfield and Beyond episode featuring Red Meat as guests, Thursday, July 9th from 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm at:
KWMR

Visit

for more details on the show:

Bakersfield and Beyond

ADD YOUR OWN ADDITION TO THE STORY IN THE COMMENTS SECTION BELOW. 


Watch for the release of the new countrified Billie Jean at:

Dr BLT's Official Web Site