Melt with This: Take the Nu Bako Sound Fusion Challenge
Fusion Challenge One: For nu Bako Sound artists:
What you're hearing if you hit the play button is the new Dr BLT cover of Modern English's I'll Stop the World (and Melt with You). It's available today from my Running for Cover CD. You'll find by hitting the buy and sample button on my website:
http://www.drblt.net
It will also be featured on my 8Tease CD.
Nu Bako Sound TM musicians, here's your challenge: To create your own cover of the song, fusing the 80s Brit synth rock with the Bakersfield Sound. So, with one boot firmly planted in the Bakersfield Sound of the 50s and 60s, and one boot in the 80s, let's see what you can come up with. After an email informing me of your participation, I'll ask you to send an mp3 copy of your cover. Then, the best one will be featured on a blog thread right here. If you're up for the challenge, GO UNDERGROUND.
Fusion Challenge Two: For those interested in the integration of music and psychology
As for the lyrics to the song, these are pretty interesting. Somebody is suggesting to a significant other that he stop the world and melt with her. Now that's a powerful image! It can be interpreted in many ways, but one interesting way from the perspective of psychology is to consider the relationship one marked by fusion, not of the musical variety addressed above, but by a loss of ego boundaries and identity to the point in which one's identity is completely wrapped up in another person. It is sometimes referred to as co-dependency.
In the comments section below, I would like you to discuss your understanding of what relationship fusion is, and what problems may arise from the process of melting with, or fusing with another person. More specifically, what is such a process indicative of, in terms of early childhood experiences, and, what are the undesirable consequences of entering a relationship that is defined in these terms?
Download | Duration: 00:01:16
That picture is of the English Beat, not Modern English....FYI.
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I know Matt, and welcome to the Underground, by the way. I was half asleep and in a hurry to get to work (yes, I was running even later than usual for my day job) while scanning for pictures of the band.
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On the one hand, we have a western culture hell-bent on driving the bar of PC so low as to make us all think & behave in the same, non-offensive, beige manner.
On the other we have a media pumping out conflicted messages: Express your individuality by buying the same thing everyone else is.
I think co-dependency is less about identity and more about simple decision making.
Personally, I don't believe in "ego" or individuality or being unique. So the idea of one personality becoming more-or-less subservient to another isn't all that alarming.
An observation: Many people- especially those that experience heightened levels of passion- feel a need to connect to others in such a way as to be considered "co-dependence" when it may simply be a method of expressing themselves.
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You've brought up some interesting points worth considering. There's also the matter of cultural differences. Some cultures value individual expression while others are willing to sacrifice such expression in the name of cohesiveness and structure. Having grown up in an environment where there was a lot of pressure to conform, I place a high value on self-expression and individuality. Conformity has its place, but when the pressure to conform becomes too great, the whole system ends up breaking down.
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I love the blend of the style of musics all together. It's sounds so much much like the Brit sound and somewhat retro in a sense. Pretty koo overall...
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I think that it is very important for people to maintain their boundaries at all times. It would be very unhealthy for a school aged child to have a parent constantly present. Children need to learn to deal with day to day problems alone and become a confident individual. Parents also would have a hard time adapting to the child leaving and suffer from an empty nest when the child does eventually become independent. I am all for depending on people when it is appropriate, but I am a huge advocate of maintain your own identity, hobbies and the since of self that other people love about you at the same time.
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Stopping the world to melt with someone is a pretty profound statement. I think the big picture in that message is that the person singing the lyrics to his beloved is deciding to deny himself to please his beloved. I think that is the true essence of fusion. It is turning away from your selfish desires in order to be attentive to the needs of another. I have kind of learned that concept in my relationship, but it is difficult to do as well. In order for relationship fusion to happen, both parties must reach a common ground. This common ground imposes on both of their understandings and reservations about the world, values and morals. I think that in relationships, we sometimes put on an act of the person we think we should be, rather than the person we really want to be. It is important to be independent, but it is equally important to be co-dependent, I think. We should be able to depend on others.
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Relationship fusion is when you get attach to the other person. You and the other person has one personality. Everyone know you and the other person as one mind. You don't show your own personality. You don't think for yourself. You let the other person think for you. You don't make your own decisions in your life. You and your partner make all of the decisions. You don't have control of your life anymore. If a child is fused with his or her parents he or she won't survived when they get older. The child has to depend on the parents because the parents make all of the decisions for him or her. The child won't live with his or her parents forever so the child has to depend on someone else. They won't survive in this world alone. They have to depend on their partner to make all of the decisions for them in life.
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I'm reminded of a time long ago, maybe even in a galaxy far far away...the early 1970s, when the media slogans told us to be the 'uncola' and to 'tune in, turn on and drop out.' Individualism and self expression was the theme of the day and conservative America was sure the world was falling apart.
I also remember a popular expression of art was the weaving together of ropes, yarn or hemp to create unique wall hangings, plant holders, key chains...and well, basically anything you could wrap your mind around. It was called macrame. A combination of individual and unique strands were merged together in a creative entanglement of knots and loops.
Are they co-dependent? Subservient to each other? Enmeshed? Maybe...I guess if you removed one of the strands the whole system of knots would unravel. They certainly depend on each other, but the key to the uniqueness within the piece of art is the individuality of each strand and how it brings something other than what is already there.
I think relationships are a lot like that. In childhood there is a natural melting together with the parent...a fusing and dependence that is needed for survival. As relationships grow and become more complex, its important that a complete melting away of the self is avoided. Just like the macrame piece of art, the individual strands within the relationship need to remain unique and true to themselves. A weaving together, tying of knots and bonding brings about a stable and beautiful piece of art, but too much sameness is...well...just boring!
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I think the most important thing is that people are able to integrate with another to whatever extent they feel comfortable with. Some cultures value independence and some value connectedness. Personally, I feel the key here is balance between the two. It is important to have a strong sense of self so that you are not led down a destructive path by others. At the same time, no man is an island. It is rewarding and neccessary to feel like you can have a melting experience with another person
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wow, i was actually really amazed! i really enjoy listening to it. I felt like i could sing along...but i dint know the words~!
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When I think of relationship fusion I think of one of the people mirroring the other. The problem with this kind of relationship is that you never really know the person who is mirroring the other. They are simply playing a role that they think the other wants them to play or simply for acceptance. If they were to show their true self they might face rejection from that person and others.
As far as childhood experiences, if a child is not free to express themselves in childhood they may become rigid and critical of themselves. Constantly trying to please their parents or others is very tough on a child. If they are made to feel bad when they show their true identity they may feel inferior as adults and will likely lead anxiety filled lives because they are constantly playing a role not in line with who they really are or who they want to be.
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I really liked the song, but all your songs are interesting.
I feel that people should maintain their boundaries, people should not try and be others lives. People need to learn on their own instead of relying on others and if another person is in their life it would be really hard to do. People need to be themselves.
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My understanding of relationship fusion is when two people become one. They start acting like each other and talking like each other, imitating their every move. A problem I see i s losing your own individuality and personality by by intertwining with them.
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Thanks for the compliments on the song and for all of the reflective, insightful comments!
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I think the image of fusing with someone else is one of the most powerful ones out there and there are so many different ways people can melt with someone else. Not only is there the idea of the physical connection of melting into someone but the even more powerful one is the emotional and mental connection. The physical connection is one that only lasts for a certain amount of time while the emtional/mental connection is one that can last years or even a lifetime. That connection can be one that could be of benefit to both people by bringing together the strenghts of the individual which can compliment the other person's strenghts or bolster their weaknesses. In this way the fusion can be extremely positive. However, the fusion could also be detrimental to one or both parties if either (or both) of them becomes so fused to the other that they cannot function as individuals. The ideal fusion would be one that strengthens both and makes them even more confident in their own individual ability to face life and its challenges.
In the relationship between children and parents the fusion should be strong and is necessary while they are young. However,it is very important for that bond to eventually loosen so the child can learn to stand on their own two feet. As a mom, I know it is hard to let them go but I also know that if my kids can stand on their own in a tough world than I have done my job. In this way, the bond we have will always be there to give them strength long after I am gone.
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