Hear ye, hear ye!  Dr BLT is looking for the best musicians and singers in Bakersfield to record the final version of this rough cut of a song he wrote and recorded in the Buckaroom this afternoon.  If you are one of the best and brightest, and want to be a part of the history of recording this song, have your people contact Dr BLT's lack of people.

Kern County Christmas Blues
Dr BLT
words and music by Dr BLT © 2011 Killbilly Records

This song was inspired by my friend and honky tonk hero, Homer Joy, in a message I received from him that displayed his brave face and sense of humor in the face of months (growing into years) of waiting for all of the conditions to be right for him to receive a second heart transplant.

I became an instant #1 among the scores of songs I release, and that's where it sits today, the most heavily downloaded Dr BLTune.  I'll publish the lyrics later, but here is the latest mix of the song. 

Hard 2 Find a Heart (Big Enough 4 U)
Dr BLT
words and music by Bruce L Thiessen, aka Dr BLT © 2011

Homer it is hard to find
a heart that tells the story
Homer it is hard to find a heart
Homer it is hard to find a heart
Homer it is hard to find a heart
with so much glory
reflected in the country songs you play

still they're lookin' everywhere
under skies of blue
lookin' up and down
askin' everyone in town
but it's hard to find a heart that's
big enough for you
lookin' in these streets
streets of Bakersfield
all throughout the land
askin' everyone
won't you lend a hand but
it's hard to find a heart
that's big enough for you

Homer it is hard to find
a heart so warm and tender
reflected in the country songs you sing
reflected in all the joy you bring
and Homer it's so hard to fill
the shoes that once were walkin'
down these lonely streets of Bakersfield

still they're lookin' everywhere
under skies of blue
lookin' up and down
askin' everyone in town
but it's hard to find a heart that's
big enough for you
lookin' in these streets
streets of Bakersfield
all throughout the land
askin' everyone
won't you lend a hand but
it's hard to find a heart
that's big enough for you

Last year, the winner of the very first annual NBO Talent Competition was Lloyd McGarity.  He's winning entry was aired on KWMR.  This year, you can be the next NEXT BUCK OWENS.

NEXT BUCK OWENS Talent competition Rules

Here are the steps involved in how to become THE NEXT BUCK OWENS.

1.  Learn the audition song right off of this post by listening to it on the podcast (posted with the lyrics below).

2.  Start your own recording of the song to put your own personality and style into the arrangement and send it to drblt@drblt.net in the form of an mp3 attachment with your name, a brief bio and contact information.
 
3.  You can be a boy, girl, woman, man or band.  The whole idea behind the song is "be yourself, don't try to be anybody else."

4.  Deadline for the contest is October 25, 2011. 

If you are the winner....

Your cover of the original DR BLT song, IF YOU WANT TO BE THE NEXT BUCK OWENS will be aired live on KWMR's
Bakersfield and Beyond
And they will announce you, on the air, as the official NEXT BUCK OWENS, 2011.

I will promote you, your rendition of the song, and your bio on my blog, Bakersfield Sound Underground.

Let's get the party started...


If you Wanna Be the Next Buck Owens
Dr BLT
words and music by Dr Bruce L Thiessen, featuring Hank Ray on lead guitar
aka Dr BLT © 2010
Next Buck Owens by Dr BLT

if you wanna be the next Buck Owens
if you wanna grab the tiger by the tail
just give 'em all you've got
dare to be different
sing out from your heart
let your guitar's wail

chorus:
be yourself
be yourself
you don't have to be anybody else
if you wanna be the next Buck Owens
break some hearts
and make some spirits melt

if you wanna be the next Merle Haggard
you don't have to sing the fightin' side of me
just give 'em all you've got
dare to be different
sing out from your heart
let your guitar scream
(chorus; instrumental solo, repeat chorus)

I'd like to accomplish two purposes with this new post.  I'd like to say Happy Birthday to the United States of America, and I'd like to thank my fans, and fans of Bakersfield Sound Underground (BSU).  I can't think of a better way to do that then by offering you my brand new song, Redneck, White and Blue in the form of a FREE DOCTOR BLT DOWNLOAD.  Happy 4th everyone!

REDNECK WHITE AND BLUE
words and music by Dr BLT © 2011

I'm redneck, white and blue
ever since the day
you broke my heart in two

you left me one year
on the 4th of July
they tell me you left me
for some other guy
some big city boy
with big city shoes
now I'm I'm redneck, white and blue
I'm redneck, white and blue
ever since the day you turned
from kind to cruel

we were out of hot dogs
and all of beer
our fireworks burned
and blew up every year
but now that you're gone
and you were untrue
I'm redneck, white and blue
I'm redneck, white and blue

Look at them Wings
words and music by Dr BLT c 2011

look at them wings
they will take you high above the ground
high up to the heavens
‘cause you are glory bound
look at them wings
beyond Missouri sunsets you have seen
bigger than those great
Kern Country dreams

chorus:
all the way to heaven
to them pearly gates
to the place St. Peter
eagerly awaits
he will tell you
we all love your music
way up here
and in God’s presence
you will soon be near

look at them wings
how they hold you up and keep you strong
soft and gentle like the gentle
dove wings in your song
you will join Buck Owens
Bonnie, Don Rich and the gang
as we remember every song you sang

as you know
this earth can be a happy place to be
but there are also days and nights
of heartache, pain and grief
and now that we have lost you
we are sad, but glad you fly
upon them wings to heaven
in the sweet old bye and bye
(instrumental solo; chorus)

Hello, (He’s) a Truck: The Red Simpson Interview:

By singer/songwriter/psychologist, Bruce L Thiessen, aka Dr BLT

 

*This interview inspired two songs, that now serve as the soundtrack for this interview:

Red Truck (GL Redux mix)
Dr BLT ft. GL: words and music by Bruce L Thiessen, aka Dr BLT © 2011

(A birthday tribute to Red, whose birthday is Sunday, March 6, the day I’ve asked all Red fans and truckers to wear red and to honk when passing Semi trucks), and…

Let Me Buy You Dinner

Dr BLT: words and music by Bruce L. Thiessen, aka Dr BLT © 2011 kILLbiLLy  rEcoRDs
(A song written for Red to possibly record on his own, inspired by the story Red told in this interview about the day he met, and bought dinner for the late, great Eddie Arnold)

 

Stay tuned to http://www.drblt.net  for the release of these singles and for more releases from the forthcoming CD: Red Truck: Songs and stories inspired by Red Simpson

 

If you haven’t heard of Red Simpson, then you probably weren’t around during the heyday of the Bakersfield Sound, when Red was busy defining “the trucker song,” with a Capitol Records contract and a string of hits that began with a bang in the form of a top country hit called “Hello, I’m a Truck.”  And if you haven’t heard of Red Simpson, the country star from Bakersfield then you probably haven’t heard about Red Simpson the songwriter---and you probably haven’t looked at the backs of records by the likes of Buck Owens, Tommy Collins, and Merle Haggard because he’s written and co-written many songs for quintessential artists of the Bakersfield Sound like these. 

 

If you haven’t heard of Red Simpson, then you’ve missed out, but your luck is about to change, and this truck is about to roll.  I thought of polishing this up in the form of a well-groomed interview/profile piece, but then I remembered, that’s not what the Bakersfield Sound is all about.  We’re about giving it to you raw, and, straight from the heart. 

 

So without further ado, here’s the interview with Red Simpson, and his wife, whom he met when they were in 3^rd grade---Joyce Simpson.  This was conducted in front of the last real honky-tonk in Bakersfield---Trout’s Nightclub, in between sets that featured Fattkat and the Vonzippers, in an evening dedicated to another honky-tonk hero from Bakersfield, Mr. Mel Lawrence.    

 

Dr BLT: Red, are you up for an interview right now?

 

Red Simpson: Sure.

 

Dr BLT: This is for Phantom Tollbooth, and for my blog, Bakersfield Sound Underground.

 

I’m Dr. BLT, that stands for Bruce L. Thiessen.  And you are…?

 

Red: Red Simpson.

 

Dr BLT: Red, I’ve heard a lot of your songs.  As you know, I almost got into a head-on collision listening to one of them, with a red diesel, believe it or not-----Diesel Smoke and Dangerous Curves was the name of it, if you can believe that.

 

Red-on Collision

Red-on COllision

Words and music by Bruce L. Thiessen, aka Dr BLT  © 2011

Red: Oh Lord, you may not be here today if you had hit the diesel.

 

Dr BLT: Well, fortunately we were both only going about 10 mph.

 

  Red: Oh well, you might have still been here then.

 

Dr BLT:  Yes, I had just crossed Buck Owens Blvd., and there was the semi, right in front of me as I was listening to your song. Anyway, your songs had a lot to do with trucking.  How did you get interested in writing about those types of songs?

 

Red: Well, Bill Woods, a guy from Bakersfield---he was kind of the father of music down here, and he was going to cut an album, so I wrote four songs for him.  Of course he never did get to cut it.  Some years later, I was writing songs for Cliffy Stone, in Hollywood, and he heard some of the songs I had sent down there, and my voice and everything, and him and Ken Nelson got to talking, and they asked Merle Haggard if he wanted to do a trucking album.  Merle said “No,” he wanted to stay with the old country.  So Cliffy called me on a Friday afternoon, and he said, “Can you be down here by Monday,” and I said “Why?”

 

And he said Capitol records wants to sign you up to do a truck-driving album.  I said, “Hell, I’ll be there in an hour and a half man!”  So Merle turned it down because he wanted to stay with what he was doing, you know, and they wanted to have a truck-driving album so they called me.  So I put some stuff together, and that’s how it happened. 

Dr BLT: Red, you tell a lot of stories with your songs.  How did your biggest hit, “Hello, I’m a Truck” happen? 

 

Red: Well, Bob Stanton was the man who wrote the song.  He was up in Yakima, Washington. I was in Vancouver, Canada…no, Vancouver, Washington.  I was recording over there with a man named Gene Breeden.  We had one record out on Portland Records.  It didn’t do too good, so one day he said, “I’ve got a song for you.  It’s called “Hello (I’m a Truck).”  I said, “Well, let me hear it and see what we think.”  He let me hear it, and that’s what happened.

 

Dr. BLT: Well that song made quite an impression.  It’s a classic all over the world, right?

 

Red: Yes, it jumped 32 spots in Billboard in one week.  You don’t do that every day.  (LOL)

 

Dr BLT: Now did you grow up in a musical family?  How did you get started in music?

 

Red: My dad played the banjo, and I had a brother who played guitar, and a couple of sisters that sang and played guitars.  And my grandpa played the fiddle.  He couldn’t play it very good, but he played it.  That’s kind of how I got into it.  My brother, Buster was a musician.  He worked around here with Bill Woods, with his Orange Blossom Playboys, and I kind of wanted to follow in his footsteps.  That’s how that all came about. 

 

Dr BLT: Did you grow up here in Bakersfield? 

 

Red: I sure did. 

 

Dr BLT: You’ve survived many years in the business. You’re still playing over here at Trout’s I understand. 

 

Red: Every Monday from 7-10 pm.  You bet!

 

Dr BLT: Let me tell you, this is a great pleasure.  I like to listen to your music.  A lot of people get a lot of inspiration out of your songs.  There are very few songs that tell a story these days. 

 

What kind of advice would you give to a young person who is influenced and inspired by the Bakersfield Sound that is just starting out as an artist? 

 

Red: Just try to right songs and don’t give up.  Hang in there.  Keep going.  That’s the way I did it.  I wrote all of the songs I could.  I’m about wrote out, but I think I’ve got a couple more in me.  

 

Dr. BLT: Well, if you ever need a co-writer, let me know. 

 

Red: You’ve got it man! 

 

Dr. BLT: Your songs have a certain laid-back quality to them, and I’m wondering… What inspires you?  How do you get ideas for songs?  What sorts of experiences have influenced you?

 

Red: I get them from everything----every day life, talking to people, listening to other songs.  Stuff that really happens.  My wife rights too. 

 

(at this point, I turned to Joyce, Red’s wife). 

 

Dr BLT: Joyce, I’m Bruce, Bruce L Thiessen, or Dr. BLT.  Pleased to meet you. 

 

Joyce Simpson: Nice to meet you, Bruce.

 

So you write songs too? 

 

Joyce: Yes.

 

Dr BLT: Have you written any new songs lately? 

 

Joyce: Well, a few.  I had one little CD, it had 3 songs on it, that have been played at Pismo, Fresno and Sacramento. 

 

Dr BLT: How did you meet Red?

 

Joyce: We met in school, years and years ago, barely knew each other.  We were both in the third grade.  We both took off, went in some other direction.  40 years later we met again.  Everybody told me, “Take your songs to Red.”  So that’s what I did. That’s how we met again.  I just wrote a song about him.  It talks about how we met when we were nine, and how, 40 years later we got married. 

 

Red Simpson: Well, when is that song coming out? 

 

Joyce: I don’t know.  It has no music to it yet. 

 

Dr BLT: Well, is Red going to write the music for it?

 

Joyce: I don’t know, he might. 

 

Red: I hope to. 

 

Dr BLT (turning back to Red Simpson). What kind of music did you listen to?  What were some of your influences growing up?

 

Red: Red: Ernest Tubb, George Jones, Buck Owens, everybody…Eddie Arnold.  We met Eddie Arnold in Nashville.  

 

I was back there doing a thing called the Tennessee Truck Show and I was in this restaurant, having a beer, and the bartender said, “You that guy over there,” and I said, “No, who is he?”  He said, “That’s Eddie Arnold,” and I said, “I’d sure like to go over and meet him.” And the bartender said, “Sure, go ahead.”  I said, “No, I don’t think I can.  He said, “Well, go have a couple more beers, and then see if you can.”  So I did, and I went over to talk to him.  My wife came down from the room upstairs.  I said, “Honey come on over here, I want you to meet somebody.”  She said, “Who is it?” I said, he’s here, sitting right here.”  I said, “Honey, this is Eddie Arnold.” 

 

Joyce: Oh, I was excited. 

 

Red: What a great guy he was----Eddie Arnold!

 

Dr BLT: Well, he sure had a lot of hits, and I was sorry when he passed away a couple of years ago.

 

Red: Oh, I was too.  I bought him dinner that night, him and his wife.  I said, “I’d like to buy you dinner.”  He said, “Oh, I’ve got credit here.”  I said, “Hell, I’ve got cash!” 

 

Dr BLT: Well, I’m a regular call-in guest for a show called Bakersfield and Beyond.  Have you heard of it?  It’s actually out of Marin County----on KWMR, but you can stream it world-wide on the internet.

http://www.kwmr.org

 

Red: Yes, I have heard of it. 

 

Dr. BLT: Well, you’ve got a lot of fans that listen to that show.  Is there anything you want to say to them?  I’ll be on the show again March the 3^rd.

 

Red: Oh, March the 3^rd?  March the 6^th is my birthday.

 

Dr BLT: Well that’s good to know.  Now we can say Happy Birthday to you on the show.

 

I’ll be 54…no, 74 years old. 

 

You know, I’m going to ask Mike and Amanda to wish you a Happy Birthday and I’m going to request a song I wrote about you and one of your own as well. 

 

Dr BLT: What’s your favorite song of all of the songs you’ve recorded?

 

Well, that’s hard to say.  A lot of them are pretty good.  I guess one of my favorites, I didn’t write it, Tommy Collins wrote it.  It’s called Roll, Truck Roll.  

 

(At this point, Red started performing a totally “unplugged” version of the song.)

 

Rollin’ down the Feather River Canyon/goin’ down and the summit is closed…

 

Dr BLT: That’s the unplugged version.  I’m going to release that.  No, I’m kidding.

 

Red: That was on my first album for Capitol.  An A&R man at Capitol, Ken Nelson, told me to get a bunch of songs together.  I had these four songs that I wrote for Bill Woods, and he never did get to do his album so I recorded those four songs on my album and later I wrote a song called Bill Woods from Bakersfield, and Merle Haggard recorded it. 

 

Dr BLT: I’ve heard that one. 

 

Red: It’s a good song. 

 

Dr BLT: Yes, it is. 

 

I’m going to be in the studio on Friday.  I don’t know what time you get up in the morning, but…

 

Red: I get up early. 

 

 

 

 

Happy Groundhog Day: Spring is just around the corner.  To celebrate spring and Groundhog Day, sample this brand new Dr BLTune:

Ground Hogs Day
Dr BLT
words and music by Dr BLT c 2011

Welcome to a brand new episode in the Bakersfield Sound Underground blog storybook adventure, where you, the blog visitor, get to add to every episode.  You can make it turn out bad, good, neutral, or any old way you'd like the story to turn out.  This series is called Jerry's Trout Pizza. 



This is serving, or episode 3.  Whether you're a Buck Owens or a Buzzcocks fan, whether you are an X fan, a Blasters fan, or a Jones Family Fortune fan----whether you are a Black Flag fan or a Merle Haggard fan, you'll have a blast hanging out in the imaginary punky-tonk territory known as Jerry's Trout Pizza, where they serve fresh fish on dry, buttery, hard crust as experimental bands, duos and solo artists come in to serve up the best fusion of post-korn-k.c.c.r.o.c.k. (Kern County Country Rock), mixing up the old and new, the borrowed and the blue, just for you.  And without further ado, this is Jerry's Trout Pizza, Serving 3.  

__________________________________________________________________________

If you can't decide whether to catch the latest punk renderings at Jerry's Pizza or the latest country or rockabilly bands at Trout's, and you pass them both on the way to who knows where, you may just find yourself at a punked-out country-bumpin' punk place called Jerry's Trout Pizza.  It doesn't exist in the real world, but in the world of magical realism, where elements of reality are juxtaposed with elements of the punKOUNTRY imaginary world, anything is possible. 

Celebrated singer/songwriter/band frontman, Ian Jones ended up there one cold February day.  After wandering around in the Kern County fog for what seemed like a lifetime, he found himself slumped over the counter, sitting on a giant bar stool and this strange, dreamy honky-tonk. 

"Where am I?"  Jerry, the bartender starred at Ian in silence for a moment, then provided a non-answer. 

"What will it be?"  

"Just a big cup of coffee," Ian replied, "I need to wake up from this nightmare."

"You look like you just lost your family fortune," Jerry replied soundly. 
"Well, I kind of have." Ian sounded confused.

"Well, I can't bring back the family fortune, young man, but I can offer you a honky-tonk treasure chest.  You see, this is where new post-punk bumpkins mix it up with old country crooners of yore. That whole attitude is kind of epitomized in the song you're hearing from the jukebox right now---the new Dr BLTrack called

Hick Hop Honky Tonk Heavy Metal Country Song
Dr BLT
words and music by Dr BLT c 2011 Killbilly Records.

Ian's eyes now cast a dubious look squarely in the eyes of the bartender.  He hesitated, that slowly began speaking. 

"Cool song.  Dr BLT and I are hoping to actually get together to perform and to record in the late spring---that is, if I ever find my way back to Bakersfield where I was trying to arrange that springtime gig.  I turned my head for a moment, noticed my shadow and ended up here.  This is surreal.  Am I dreaming?  Just how is all that possible-----the honky-tonk, the time-travel deal with the old-timers and the whole new attitude of cooperation, and collaboration?"

Jerry shook his head, oddly, a little dubious over the dubiousity he saw in Ian's eyes.  Jerry had been around this place so long, he no longer recognized the overwhelmingly surrealistic aspect of it all.

"The dead are resurrected here---not just the archetype, but the actual physical artists themselves, right here in the flesh, reappearing in all of their splendor."  Tonight Faron Young, the man once dubbed "The Hillbilly Hearthrob," and Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead join Lloyd McGarity on this gigantic stage.  They will merge into one superband.  They will play twanged out Dead tunes, Lloyd McGarity originals, and Dr BLT covers like Have Mercy, January, as aired on KWMR's Bakersfield and Beyond, and psychedelic country post-punk renditions of Faron Young classics like Goin' Steady, Wine me Up and Hello Walls.  

After that mind-blowing merger, 800 Pound Gorilla will team up with the Witchitas, Meestro, the Smokin' Armadillos, the Flying Burritto Brothers, Ruby and the Snakehandlers, X, and the three Daves of the new Bakersfield-Sound-grounded country movement-----Dave Howe, Dave Gleason, and Dave Alvin.   It's going to be one hell of a heavenly honky-tonk show!  Until Jerry's Trout Pizza was created in the imagination of punKOUNTRY hick hoppin' hillbillies, a double feature old-meets-new time-travel supershow like this was not thought possible, even in their wildest imagination."

Ian's eyes now radiated a scintillating glow of eager anticipation.  Then, his eyes saddened for he thought of how Faron took his own life while he was still in his prime.  "Wow, I can't wait to meet Faron.  It's so tragic how he, like Sid Vicious, lived out the whole "Live Fast, Love Hard, Die Young," lifestyle.  Why he took his own life in 1996, I can never begin to understand.  He had it all, and was a great inspiration to songwriter's everywhere.  He was so instrumental----no pun intended, in launching careers like those of Don Gibson, Kris Kristofferson and Shel Silverstein." 

Jerry hung his head, then lifted it slowly, gazing toward the back of the shadowy bar, decorated, in a rather tawdry manner, with huge, homemade guitar-weilding Groundhog cardboard cut-out figures. 

"Well, I have a theory-----just like the theory about Curt Cobain and Brian Jones, that Faron was murdered.  Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know, maybe he was like a Groundhog that saw his shadow, in the Jungian sense of one's shadow, got scared and went back to the cold ground, like the Groundhog, but deeper underground, never to come back to the real world, that is, until now." 

Suddenly, there was there was a conspicuous creak at the door.  It was Gary LaDuke, aka GL, aka the G-L-element.  

"Hey," Ian exclaimed excitedly, isn't that the dude they refer to as "the New George-Martin-meets-the-new-John-Lennon"------you know---that dude from St. Luis, who has supercharged or "LaDuked" so many of the Dr. BLT songs, including the ones covered by Lloyd McGarity, the man who won the 2010 version of the Next Buck Owens talent contest?"  

"Yep, that's him," Jerry replied confidently.  "That's GL and Suzan Joy and Homer.  Homer actually made it.  "Here's to your health!" Jerry shouted, holding up his frosty, half-full beer mug.  Then he turned towards Ian.

"GL heard that we were dedicating tonight's show to Homer Joy, and that's why he's got Homer and Suzan Joy with him."  Jerry paused.  "And that reminds me, there are rumors that Buck himself may show up later tonight with Dwight Yoakam, and the two of those cats may sing Streets of Bakersfield as an encore."  

Ian pinched himself in a feeble attempt to introduce palpability to this surrealistic experience.  It hurt!  Then the two of them headed back to welcome GL, Homer, and Suzan at the door.  What an evening this was going to be.  What a glorious slice of that heavenly Jerry's Trout Pizza!

(Readers, please complete your own ending to the story in the comments section below.  Also, be sure to stream my favorite radio show on Thursday, February 3 from 6:30 pm to 8:30 pm at this link:

KWMR 

I'm a regular, long-distance telephone guest and, though I'm cleary unworthy, they frequently air my original tunes, performed by me and others who record my tunes.  I usually come on around 8 pm to chat with the co-hosts, Mike and Amanda).   

Catch you at the next episode! 

 

Let's continue to hold up Homer Joy in all of our deepest thoughts and prayers as he struggles with another bump on the road to awaiting his second heart transplant.  Homer, this one's for you!

Here's to Homer Joy (and a Happy New Year)
Dr BLT
words and music by Bruce L Thiessen, aka Dr BLT © 2010

As a songwriter, there is no greater compliment that a star-bound future classic artists doing great renditions of one's tunes.  Christmas came early for me, Dr BLT, this Christmas, with artists like Lloyd "The Next Buck Owens" McGarity cover songs like the ones you'll sample here. 

GL supercharged IT NEVER SNOWS ON THE STREETS OF BAKERSFIELD, a song I recorded with the Bakersfield Sound All-Stars last Christmas


IT NEVER SNOWS ON THE STREETS OF BAKERSFIELD (GL Redux Mix)
Lloyd McGarity (GL redux mix)
words and music by Bruce L. Thiessen,  aka Dr BLT © 2010

...and here's a song I wrote and recorded last year, but that was so last year.  Here's Lloyd with his "live" cover of the future holiday classic:

Oildale Santa
Lloyd McGarity (GL redux mix)
words and music by Bruce L. Thiessen,  aka Dr BLT © 2010

Thanks, Lloyd, and thanks to GL, for bringing your rich talent to some of my best song material.  It's a great honor.  It makes me look forward with great anticipation, as I wonder what 2011 has in store!  Perhaps hit song galore! 

"He's makin' a list
'checkin' it twice
he's gonna find out
who's naughty and nice
Santa Claus is comin' to town..."

I love Santa!  Everybody loves Santa!  What's not to love?  Well, if you study the stories and songs about the jolly old elf, you may notice that though "ladies love outlaws," Santa may just return their dark deeds and outlaw attitude with lumps of coal.  You see, the only way to salvage Santa's record when it comes to love is to call it "tough love." 

Santa only brings good gifts to those who are good enough.  Johnny Cash?  Waylon Jennings?  Hank Williams?  Hank Williams Jr.? Merle Haggard?  Hank Williams III?  If the bad boy, country gangsta image that these boys presented in their music is consistent with their character and their behavior, they are, or, in some cases, were considered fallen out of Santa's good graces.  "Ladies love Outlaws," but apparently, Santa's not so thrilled with them. 

Johnny Cash was one of those rare figures who must have seen God as an unconditionally loving God, because he celebrated God, while embracing his own shortcomings as a human being, and he frequently boldly visited his dark side.  His God was a God of redemption.  Okay, now first of all, somebody told you, or you discovered by accident, that there is no Santa.  If that weren't devastating enough news, I've just told you that you have to be good to get in with Santa's good graces----no outlaws allowed. 

But where would country music be without our outlaws?  I love 'em.  God loves 'em.  But if it were up to Santa, all of their gold records may have just turned into lumps of coal.  Ho! Ho! Ho! How do you like them Christmas apples?  Santa, we still love you, but you've got to stop checking your list.  Our outlaws of country may not have all been symbols of purity, but you have to admit, they were, and are, pretty damned good at being bad!

I hope I haven't just rained, or rather, snowed, on your Christmas parade.  Maybe this new GL/BLTrack will help:


You Only Love Me When I'm Good
GL and Dr BLT
words and music by GL and Dr BLT